I’m My Own Grandpaw
Dwight Latham and Moe Jaffe
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1. Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three
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   I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be
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   This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
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   My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed.

2. This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life
   For my daughter was my mother ‘cause she was my father’s wife
   To complicate the matter even thought it brought me joy,
   I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

3. My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad
   And so became my uncle even thought it made me sad
   For if he was my uncle then that also made him brother
   Of the widows grown up daughter who of course was my step mother.

4. Father’s wife then had a son that kept them on the run
   And so became my grandchild for he was my daughter’s son.
   My wife is now my mother’s mother and it makes me blue
   Because although she is my mother, she’s my grand-mother too.

5. Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I’m her grandchild.
   And every time I think of it nearly drives me wild.
   For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw.
   As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grand-paw

Ending
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   I’m my own grand-paw
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   I’m my own grand-paw
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   It sounds funny I know
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   But it really is so
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   I’m my own grand-paw